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Dear AT&T, Bell South, Charter, Chase, Citibank, Direct TV, Dish Network, Discover Card, Mastercard, and Visa,

i'm not interested. Not only that, but I have never been  interested. Just because you send me five letters a week does not make me think "oh! Today's the day that I decide to open ANOTHER credit card!!"

Bugger off.

Sincerely,
The Student Who Wishes the Post Office Had a Spam Box