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Kentucky is just an absolutely marvelous state. When I was in college (the first time), we discussed in my Southern Politics class whether or not Kentucky should be considered a "southern state." As good southerners, the basis of our definition of a Southern State is they drink sweet tea and say things like "ya'll" and "ain't" and "over yunder."
My most recent Kentucky adventure began in a Wendy's in a town with about five restaurants, four of which were closed...at 7:00PM.
If I go to a Wendy's here in SC and I order a tea, there is no question about whether or not that baby is sweet. In South Carolina, if you order tea, it's automatically sweet. If you order unsweetened tea, you not only get a funny look from your server, but God cries. I don't care if you were born in Possum Kingdom, SC with a rebel flag birthmark on your butt...if you do not drink sweet tea, you have no soul. You may as well buy a cat and call it a day.
In Kentucky, when I ordered a tea, they had to ask me if I wanted sweet or unsweet tea. I just...stared.
Now, as someone who has grown up in a community that is not even a twinkle in a map-maker's eye, I know what white trash is. I know what rednecks are. I know what hillbillies are, and am a proud owner of a Carhart Camo coat. The thing is, in my opinion, our "kind" is contained to a certain area of the world. Yankees live in Yankeeville, surfers live in the water, hillbillies live in my house.
The next day, my aunt and I decided that we were going on a road trip to Cincinnati. Shame on me for doubting the mobility of the redneck population. I saw MULTIPLE PEOPLE in wife beaters and cut off shorts.
Oh, but no. Trashiness is not even restricted to the hillbilly population. I saw what would've otherwise been a very attractive man wearing a shirt that said "Vagitarian." I wanted to kick him repeatedly in his gonads. The other winner...good Lord. *sigh* He had a shirt with Grover, Big Bird, and Elmo wearing ghetto chains over a caption that said "Sesame Thug Life."
In all serious. If you or someone you love, know, or have seen once before own ANY clothes with children's characters dressed in DKNY...you need to read my post of suffocation and just take care of things immediately. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Ouch. As you can see, you touched a nerve, Kentucky.
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