Why I Don't Like Being in the Water

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So it's finally happened. My bestie and inspiration for craziness has finally realized that I am severely disturbed and probably equally undermedicated. I don't know why. All I did was tell her about my latest dream. I don't know why she freaked out.

I'm at the point in my night life now where I realize that I am dreaming and just decide to have fun. I can fly all over the world, move stuff with my eyes, and smooch a still very much alive Heath Ledger. I obviously enjoy dreaming, but every now and then a nasty ol' nightmare will slip in and ru'rn my life.

Night before last, I had the first non-lucid dream that I've had in a really long time. In my dream, I was watching these freaking idiots kayak in the middle of the Perfect Storm. Naturally, their kayaks all flipped over leaving me creeping about in the sky, praying that I wouldn't have to rescue them because I am absolutely terrified of drowning.

Well, I had to. Jerks and their inability to survive underwater....

I was swimming in the ocean trying to save some of these morons when about 200 of these appeared




Scary. Super scary. Times 200. I'm not exaggerating about the teeth. On the contrary, there were more than that. Luckily, as one was about to introduce me to Steve Irwin, I remembered that I COULD fly and pulled lots of dumb deep sea kayakers to safety.
Part of me wishes that I could say that was the end of the dream. But no. This was one of those dreams that I could not wake up from.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting with a man that I rescued that was apparently my husband. As we were snuggling, I noticed with my X-Ray vision that he was moving in a freakishly similar way to the giant Robot Sharks. I suggested that we go see a doctor who, unfortunately confirmed my fears. My husband was bitten by, and was slowly turning into, a giant, radioactive robot shark.
Obviously, I was devastated. I'm pretty sure that the man in my dreams was attractive. I know I was madly in love with him because I crawled to meet Sheldon Cooper so that we could keep him from turning into a monster.
It worked. Only except for that he didn't know who I was. I used all my chips with stupid Sheldon and he wasn't up for building a time machine to take me back to the point before the love of my life was turned into a freaking zombie of the ocean.
I'm still a little upset about it, actually.