Hostess Cupcake with milk Image sourceYes.You read that right.A Hostess cupcake snackonce saved this girlfrom near starvationand dying out in the wildernessfrom exposure...
Ok.I may be exaggerating a tad bit.But we really were lost,and it really was getting dark!Here,I'll explain...
See,it all started when meand my guy palsdecided to go to Turkey Runto hike.
I was getting ready to move to New Yorkand we were having one last hurrah.We played on the swings.We hiked the trails.We threw shoes into the freezing cold riverto see who was brave enough to retrieve them.We were young and easily amused-what can I say?
It was such a fun day.One of the those "best days"that you remember foreverand it's probably way better in your head then what actually went downbut it doesn't really matter cause it's the memory that really matters,isn't it?
There were four of us.Thomas.Blake.And my best guy friend- Jesse.Thomas and Blake started to wander ahead on the trail,leaving little clues{like an arrow made from twigs}as to which direction they were going.It was getting to be late afternoon and the days were getting shorter.It was going to be dark soon.Suddenly we were no longer findingthe "signs".We must have misinterpreted some rocks or somethingbut all that really mattersis that me and Jesse,we were lost.
I felt like we had been walking for miles.I was starting to get whinyand if you know me at all,you know that whiny Ashleyis not fun Ashley.At first I could tell Jesse thought we would eventually catch up to the othersno big deal.But as it got later and laterand no sign of the boysor the caror the end of the trailwere ANYWHERE to be seen.
I was starting to panic.I was really hungry.Really,really,really,really,HUNGRY.Did I mention I am annoying whenI am hungry?or uncomfortable,or irritated?I can be annoying.Ask anyone,if there is something that I pride myself init is my ability to be annoying.
Side Note:you can choose to skip this part if you just want to get to the Hostess part.This will paint a picture of how annoying I am...
One day I was watching the Discovery channel.There were a bunch of otters,just chillin' on the banks of the riverwhen suddenly a crocodile was sneaking up.But don't worry,this story has a happy ending-those otters knew what was up!They all packed togetherand they started to mess with the croc!They splashed him,and jumped on him,and taunted him.Together,they annoyed the crocodile away.It was a turning point in my life,I was an otter.But I didn't have a pack.I was a lone otter.Annoying the crap out of all who got in my way.: )
Back to the story...Where was I?
Oh yes,we were lost.I cannot begin to describe how hungry I was at this point.My stomach felt like it was starting to eat itself.All I could think about were yummy things to eat,like spicy chicken sandwiches from Wendy'sor a Reuben from Arby's.What?I was 19-I ate a lot of junk food.
Just when Jesse was probably about to stab his own eyes outif I said one more time HOWHUNGRYIWAS...I spotted it...-there in the distant path ahead of usI saw something.What was it?I couldn't quite see.As we got closermy heart started to pound,could this be salvationin a small plastic package?It was indeed.
A Hostess Cupcake!Hot dog!I snatch it up likecast member of Survivorand ate it before I could even have the moral obligation to share.I'm sorry Jesse.Sorry, I'm not sorry!It was my primal instinct going into survival mode.Who knew if we would ever get off this dang trail?Who knew if we would eat again?I wasn't going to make it to New York.I was going to die out on that trailand if I was going to diethen I was sure as heckgonna enjoy my last supper!
Thankfully,Jesse is a great friendand he didn't judge my stuffing of my face with cupcakeand not sharing with him.That's when you know you have a good friend,when they let you eat the last Hostess Cupcake that either of you could ever seeever.again.
Luckily,like the otters,this story has a happy ending.We did eventually make it out of the woods. We found Blake and Thomasand then they got me dinnerat an all you can eat buffet.Heaven.
I did get thrown into a pool-not the river, a poolbut that is a story for another day...
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